on being a political animal

yesterday, somebody asked my political ideology and orientation. i was thinking about an answer so i yahooed (coz i didn't use the google search tool engine) the word ideology for a refresher. ideology seems to have a wide meaning and interpretation so i tried to devise my own way on answering it. then i remembered that i wrote a position paper back in 4th year during my posc 14 class(filipino politics) about something like a theoretical discourse on power, politics etc. and to my amazement i chuckled. reading back your college papers is funny and it's pretty obvious that those ideas and ideals are slowly tarnishing. i guess this is another issue of conformity.

after brainstorming, i was able to come up with this political ideology. i know this is hilarious and it sounds like an answer from a beauty pageant (according to krt) but at the very least i hope this makes sense.hahaha

"As a political thinker, I strongly believe that the Philippines thrive in a half-illed democracy. We have choices at some point but it doesn't guarrantee that we can always participate at decision-making. Though democracy is centered on the idea that it is the rule of the many, it is the other way around in the Philippine democracy. It's the rule of the few instead. Those who possess the "name," power and resources are the class that dominates. There's the class that rules and the class being ruled."

and i thank you.haha i hope this so called "ideology" won't ruin my future. so help me God.

static

we always have choices to escape but in spite of these options, we still remain to be trapped and just stay.

i was some kind of hyper-perky yesterday as a result of a major puyatan with an idol; and that puyat was a big help. when you know someone would listen to your frustrations and when times that you also need to listen to other people's stories, you'll realize that there's no reason to hide your fears. you can cry and laugh that will mold you as an authentic human being.

i went to baclaran after work. it's been two months since the last time i went to that place wherein i was present for like twice in a week in six months -- for a release. i missed the church's dim lights, people crying for their petitions which is making me a bit sad and fulfilled.

i wanted to close the night crying but i just can't do it. maybe i should try acting lessons, workshop on releasing pail of tears etc. i don't know if my loneliness is self inflicted. now i'm wondering maybe happiness' sequel is loneliness on a higher amplitude.

bday blogging

state of happiness means lack of words to say. i may be tired from the 12-hour travel yesterday. i wish myself a happy birthday and thanks to all the friends who've extended their greetings through text and phone calls. i don't know know what to write now.

22 winks

'coz I can’t be that transparent now that’s why. It may be liberating for you and I’m fine with it. I wish I could recover from these lungkot days. I’ll be home (the real home in cagayan) on Thursday to Sunday for a meeting. And the rest of the story will follow. Apparently, my birthday month became a travel month. From Mindoro to Manila to Baguio to Manila to Tuguegarao and back to Manila on the 31st.

halt

march has officially started last weekend. this is my birthday month and i'll be turning 22 twenty four days when we count from this day.

i was on a short rest since monday and work will resume next week. it's been 6th months since the last time last time i was on vacation. i'm going to have a new career (in a new industry) on the 10th. this is supposed to be a better opportunity as i'm gonna feel the convenience of working just around 3 streets away from home and it will take me only about 5 minute-walk to go there. waking up at 7:30 in the morning won't be a problem now. i'm also going to miss riding in a public transpo as my feet means transportation this time. how i missed working in makati and i'm back!

i guess hopping stops for a year or two. i'll do whatever i can 'cause i dont wanna be a record holder.

bumbleboy

And I’m gonna sit down in front of my computer for the whole workday because nobody will be left at our department. I was exempted from the field work so I was a sort of a caretaker-customer-care-for-a-day. Good thing about working in this new company is that we don’t have a strict IT people so you can do almost anything you want and click anything you want…work with pleasure…I mean multitask.

I checked some blogs, blogs that are linked from a friends blog. Blogs that has been linked through a friend’s friend’s blog and there it goes. The very best thing to do when you’re bored is to read other people’s rants and ideas to reaffirm yourself that the world is still a happy place to live in. But another worry that concerns me now is “when am I gonna change.” But according to Ms. M, “walang timeline ang pagbabago” (her response to her previous 90-day project).

So it may take some time for me to become more responsible. When shall i realize what career to pursue in this world full of opportunities? (sabi kasi ng isang dating ka-course [nung BS Economics pa ako] ng makasakay ko sya sa MRT nung November ‘07 na“it takes seven jobs before we fully know what career we want to pursue.” I just can’t reconcile my passion, skills and whatever practical reasons that I should know or be reminded of.

Gayahin natin ang sinasabi/ginagawa ng narrator ng radio drama bago matapos ang show.

“Lilipat na naman ba ng trabaho si Lonely boy?”

“Saan naman kaya sya lilipat?”

“Kelan pa kaya sya magtatagal sa isang trabaho ”

So ayun na. Decode my message.

post pose

and i thought this is the best form of release (aside from smoking) to beat the usual stressful field work. i miss school. i miss myself. i miss taking pictures. i miss sociologizing. i miss uplb but i love the old manila.





























































































model and photographer: avery of jobhopper's/lonely circle
clothing: model's own
lens: samsung e250 vga camera
location: manila central post office building, lawton, manila
date: february 19, 2008 between 5:30-6:10 pm