ikot (turn)

minsan nga naman masayang sakyan ang inconsistencies ng buhay. may mga bagay tayong pinipilit gustuhin, may mga bagay na pilit nating hinahanap pero nakakatuwa na may mga bagay na gusto pa din natin ng ganun na lang.

minsan gusto nating magmadali, at pag mabilis ang takbo ng buhay, gusto naman nating patigilin.

minsan, mas maayos daw na planuhin ang mga bagay bago natin ito gawin pero kahit gaano mo man katagal paghandaan ang isang bagay, may mga bagay pa din na sadyang lilitaw na pwedeng ikasira o lalong ikabubuti ng iyong mga plano.

minsan bata lang tayo. nasabi mo na siguro na gusto mong maging manggagamot o guro.

minsan estudyante lang tayo na pilit gumagawa ng paraan upang makapagtapos.

minsan pagkatapos mong mag-aral, nasabi mo na siguro na kailangang maging ganito ako.

at dahil inconsistent ang buhay, minsan masaya ka na lang ng ganun na lang. na kung may magbabago man, minsan ayus lang.

lunchtime pop-ups

i had a great weekend with kids. 'twas an experience that i'm looking forward on doing again. i don't know if everything else could be positive.

to you - you know how much i care and you know what i feel for you. let's hope for better days ahead. you can talk to me anytime you wish basta gising lang ako.

to mmc - i am grateful for always including me in your posts. i hope we could fix our schedule soon so that we can talk again. talk on our heartbreaks, moving on and a little bit about work. i miss you like crazy.haha blogging and texting became an alternative tools for us to convey our messages and sort of update on what's happening to us. antagal na nung march na last natin nag-usap sa gilid ng greenbelt.

on selling myself

I look at things in a different way…deviation is spectacular
I am imaginative…and life goes round and round
My mind is restless. I want to explore the creative side of every situation.
I want to bring out the emotion in every moment
The melodrama…
Contentment…
Triumph…
Innocence…
And happiness in children’s eyes
I want to capture not just what is visible but what is hidden
I am passionate with photography
I am passionate with making people smile
And because I want to make a story in every images
I want to be a part of a creative pool of artists who knows no borders…
who can defy conventions
I want to share my passion and skill
I want a greater challenge. I want to make a difference.
I am ready for a creative battle.

upsized

today is somehow productive. i was able to end the workday without feeling bored or sleepy. work is just ok but life in general is happier. i am acting a little weird since yesterday because i smile periodically but this weirdness is not weird.haha

"dying inside to hold you" has been playing in my mind since this morning. maybe it won't end playing until i sleep later.haha

hollywood sweetheart on pencil

reese witherspoon on charcoal pencil. this picture was inspired by the just like heaven pdvd cover. drawn october 2006 while typhoon milenyo was destroying lives and properties in the southern luzon area. shading taught by krt with support from scarereyes.

on being a political animal

yesterday, somebody asked my political ideology and orientation. i was thinking about an answer so i yahooed (coz i didn't use the google search tool engine) the word ideology for a refresher. ideology seems to have a wide meaning and interpretation so i tried to devise my own way on answering it. then i remembered that i wrote a position paper back in 4th year during my posc 14 class(filipino politics) about something like a theoretical discourse on power, politics etc. and to my amazement i chuckled. reading back your college papers is funny and it's pretty obvious that those ideas and ideals are slowly tarnishing. i guess this is another issue of conformity.

after brainstorming, i was able to come up with this political ideology. i know this is hilarious and it sounds like an answer from a beauty pageant (according to krt) but at the very least i hope this makes sense.hahaha

"As a political thinker, I strongly believe that the Philippines thrive in a half-illed democracy. We have choices at some point but it doesn't guarrantee that we can always participate at decision-making. Though democracy is centered on the idea that it is the rule of the many, it is the other way around in the Philippine democracy. It's the rule of the few instead. Those who possess the "name," power and resources are the class that dominates. There's the class that rules and the class being ruled."

and i thank you.haha i hope this so called "ideology" won't ruin my future. so help me God.

static

we always have choices to escape but in spite of these options, we still remain to be trapped and just stay.

i was some kind of hyper-perky yesterday as a result of a major puyatan with an idol; and that puyat was a big help. when you know someone would listen to your frustrations and when times that you also need to listen to other people's stories, you'll realize that there's no reason to hide your fears. you can cry and laugh that will mold you as an authentic human being.

i went to baclaran after work. it's been two months since the last time i went to that place wherein i was present for like twice in a week in six months -- for a release. i missed the church's dim lights, people crying for their petitions which is making me a bit sad and fulfilled.

i wanted to close the night crying but i just can't do it. maybe i should try acting lessons, workshop on releasing pail of tears etc. i don't know if my loneliness is self inflicted. now i'm wondering maybe happiness' sequel is loneliness on a higher amplitude.