february had been sort of adjustment on my end. it became a month of trying to stretch almost everything and it also tried to check my flexibility. i've never thought that even a good 8 months of good and hardwork is gonna be overlooked or not even noticed at all. i kept questioning if meritocracy still exist that even the lousiest persons are still offered promotion or even a chance to move up in an organization. and the answer is probably.
i don't know if graduate school has been helping me to get what i want. but wednesday and thursday nights have been very good companions as they gave me an escape to the reality in which i'm trying to disintegrate myself. i have this newly opened consciousness on dealing with trivial things and it sucks big time. at some point, the experiences i have been through in the past seven years of independence is something that i wish should have not rapidly took place. i'm going back to being idealistic. err. nevermind.