[re]cycle

i've been into a cycle of denying my feelings for the last days. i've been trying to justify that things are happening because i screwed up with words and my actions do not speak for itself. the issues that have been haunting for over a month are still the same old issues that haven't been resolved untiil now. if i'm gonna make a summary of what have i been thinking lately, it will just give me a slap to my face that i haven't completely recovered from frustration brought by extremely expecting for something which is in fact giving me a minute possibility of moving on.

i dont know if this a repeat. this is like giving me a difficult time to process my thoughts. i am having a great time with work and the team i'm working with but i just feel so incomplete and directionless. late night bonding with friends are still not enough. i am still this lonely boy that i was when i decided to create an account here at blogspot. this is not emo though. maybe this is just a release.