blue-colored door

On why I changed URL will just be a part of the past.
I'm opening myself to new possibilities for the month of September. A bit risky but I guess this will be the start of something new. Something blue but not blue-lonely. Blue as a new color perhaps. I hope new doors are gonna open and the number thirteen will still be a lucky number.

photo by: Karla P!
location: San Agustin Museum, Intramuros, Manila
date: 08.08.08

on counting

after the recent break-up with the job that i almost liked - that opportunity in the human resource industry to headhunt a.k.a. snatching the best people in an organization and transferring them for a supposedly better compensation, wider scope of responsibility and advance themselves in another company... i found myself doing the job that i wanted to do but not exactly the way i wanted it to be.

i am doing photography for a living and there have been a lot of changes. it's amusing that i can now sing barney songs, disney songs and i can even make kids laugh. who knows apples and bananas (eypols ind bininis)? i am now groomed into having kids but procreation may not be one of my priority at the moment.

fast forward to two months - i am doing well with the job that i wanted to do (that's how i assess myself so far). but i just can't make myself believe that i'd be doing this forever. maybe and maybe. not that it's about the intensity of the words fickle-minded or ADHD but i just don't know which one to prioritize. i want to do a lot of things and i want to learn more things. I want to take up MBA but it could be deferred until i've gauged the things that i would like to do for a lifetime. photography may still be a passion but... and a lot of buts.

it's better this time that i'm with people who share the same interest in photography. and last night i was able to meet jake verzosa, the photographer! starstuck - i really wanted talk to him personally and my favorite batchmate sooz's friend devised a way to introduce us to him. it's so "sabaw" that i wasn't able to utter substantial words except for "hello idol, you're my sister-in-law's cousin" and he answered back "how is she." i should have told him "i'd like to assist in one of your shoots" but no regrets since that won't be the last time to have an opportunity to talk to him - that's for sure. this is optimism 101!

half and a quarter

over the past three months in the state of half-loneliness, half-happiness and a half of uncertainties...i figured out last night the quarter that's missing. it's the half-bitter and half-sweet taste of alcohol that i used to half-love and half-hate. it's been a while since the last time i spend the night 'til early morning with my former officemates.

at shutter's speed

in every decision that we take, it gives us life-long possibilities on what will happen next. it may take effect tomorrow, the days to come or in years.

when we are trying so hard at some things, we can't avoid not to be pathetically excited or worried for the result. and our indecisiveness would certainly kill us.

i'm adapting the way to be more optimistic but i just can't find the easiest route to feel certainty. if i can turn back time, i'd rather take the same road because that same direction will lead me to the things that i am currently experiencing. i'll feel better that when i come back, i already know my way out.

in low res

oh well.

economics and reincarnation

and i am still trying to devise a way to make my 9-day vacation productive. i already did some catching-up with old friends in the past three days. already walked 3.5 kilometers for a cause which i'm not sure if it is really something that i should be proud of. then i've been walking until yesterday.

i wanted to grow my hair again, after i decided to be bald a month ago, so i decided to have a side haircut last night. i want my hair back!!!

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because i am avoiding the sunlight, i decided to just stay at home today and washed my own clothes instead -- and i missed doing this. maybe i was a labandero in my past life. and maybe i'll have a bright future as a househelper. i'll specialize on gardening, laundry and dishwashing. if i am a househelper, would i still think about resigning? would i also shift interest like venture into mopping or babysitting? the future is so uncertain for me to be worried. i am now dwelling into the ifs of my decisions.

27th on the 30th

if seven (7) is indeed a lucky number, then I will be a one lucky guy on my next step. this time it's closer.